Best of Horror Films -- Dead Alive -- Arachnia's Den of the Deceived

It all began with a monkey...A Samarian Rat Monkey to be exact. New Zealand Zoo officials nab one of the nasty little things from a remote island for display at a local zoo. Only they had no way of knowing what a bloody-horrible effect this action would have on the entire town.

This bloody, gutty, sickening little Gem from New Zealand (you know, right across from Australia) will have you laughing, cheering and reaching for the puke pail. In all honesty, it is by far one of the sickest movies I have ever seen, and this is saying a lot folks. I managed to get through Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 while eating a bowl of my mom's home made chilli, but Dead Alive made me gag repeatedly...And I wasn't even eating a thing! The special effects are quite remarkable considering the fact that this movie, along with most of the good films, was made on a less-than-Hollywood style budget. 'Nuff said.

Perhaps another reason this movie struck such a core with me (you know, aside from the glorious gore) was the fact that it deals with one of my favourite subjects: ZOMBIES!!! After the Rat Monkey is brought back from the island and added to the zoo's lineup of wildlife, he goes haywire and bites one of the visitors. Of course, this visitor just happens to be the mean, overbearing mother of poor Lionel.

Lionel is wussy, wimpy, whiny and in desperate need of a woman. He finds one in Paquita, the innocent (and not very cute) girl who works at the general store. She finally persuades him to take her on a date (to the zoo) and when Lionel's mother finds out, she stops at nothing to keep the two apart and her doting son to herself. Only when the monkey bite, which causes her to fall ill and eventually die, takes it's toll on her can the two be together...Right? Wrong!

The monkey bite has deemed Lionel's mother to a life of Un-Death, and she comes back from the other side a mean, carnivorous zombie...The good kind! Of course, it probably wouldn't impress Paquita too much to know that her boyfriend is keeping a zombie in his house doped up on animal tranquilizers so that she won't eat anything other than her vitamins, so Lionel pushes Paquita away in order to keep his bizarre secret.

Definitely not for the weak-stomached, Dead Alive is packed with all the things good Horror films are made of. I would definitely reccomend it to anyone in need of a good intestinal cleansing. Just make sure to pick up the uncut version....FAR superior in gore-value.